I was talking to Dave about his picture and asked him, "I wonder what Joshua was doing or thinking at that precise moment." So it got me a little sad because of course me being the constant dweller, I could only imagine that he was just there. This was a new room for him because that day was the "gotcha" day for two little girls. It was the only day that he was seen by this family because he was just moved into that room. A room that was unfamiliar to him probably with new caregivers. He was probably taken and just sat at that "table" and I can see another little hand next to him. He is actually probably used to sitting and very little interaction. I wonder if when Kelly went up to him and went to take a picture whether he was just like- Oh this attention is not for me... or just another day... Maybe it is silly for me to think like that but me being the worrier and ever protective mom but it bothers me that he can just be moved around from room to room. I can't wait to give him the attention and stability that he has lacked in his environment. I can't wait till he is more than just one of many. And I certainly can't wait till I can put a smile on his face. When he is no longer just there and existing in a world who finds no value in his life. I can't wait for the day that he gets a twinkle in his eye and when someone points a camera at him he can look directly at that person and just feel the attention is all for him. It is so wonderful to actually have a picture that is not posed by an orphanage. There are many families who never get that and we are so grateful to have gotten one. We can't thank the Reynolds enough who were extremely busy trying to bring home their little girls and on the last day recognizing our son and snapping a picture.
I have been holding off really buying anything for Joshua. I guess it dates back to the whole pregnancy parallel with adoption. I posted about this before- how the beginning stages with homestudy and paperwork gathering was similar to the first trimester- the wait for USCIS approval being the second- and now we are in the 3rd trimester because we are submitted and just waiting on Joshua's government to give us our induction date. Travel and court is labor while gotcha date is our delivery. So anyway... My mother in law has graciously offered to buy us a matching crib like Jakes. She asked me yesterday when I wanted to order it. Imagine her confusion when I replied wait until labor :) Sometimes I really think you have to go through the adoption process to truly understand lol. But I did purchase him the onesie on his first birthday if you recall. And I went to the store to pick up some shorts for Jacob as he has outgrown his. There was a shirt that said Big Brothers Rock. I bought him shorts and that shirt! Of course it would not be complete without Joshua having matching shorts and his tshirt that says Little Brothers Rock!! So I bought him a set!! After seeing his newest pictures I now realize that I am probably going to have to get him some clothes as Jake's will not fit him at all. I have some 18 month clothing from Jake left over but I gave his smaller ones to Salvation Army because at that time I did not even have an inkling about Joshua. So in the next few weeks- we will be doing some major garage sale shopping. Luckily we have most of the major items still left from Jacob.
Now I want to take a moment and ask that you pray for a family that were a month out from picking up their two boys. They recently found out that one of their boys passed away. Literally these children are living on borrowed time. And a month can make a difference between life and death. Please lift the Stolz up in your prayers and grant them peace and comfort in this time. And as I always do I am posting this precious boys picture because he did matter and he was loved.
I also ask that you pray for Nathanial. Nathanial has a condition called hydrocephalus which means he has extra fluid in his head causing pressure on his brain. Hydrocephalus usually requires surgery as soon as possible- basically placing a shunt to divert the excess fluid away from his brain. Untreated it can cause irreparable brain damage and death. It IS possible he could be treated and live however his country has said that they will not attempt it. They do not feel his life has value for them to try to save him. He needs a family to step forward quickly and give him just a chance. There are no guarantees in stepping outside your comfort zone to save him but there is a guarantee that he will die if nobody does and a guarantee that he will die never having felt truly loved. There is a group hoping to fully fund his adoption
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