Changes

This journey has brought so many changes to our family- On June 29th our family was forever blessed by the addition of Joshua. On July 18th we were saddened to lose another member of our family- my sister.

I have seen Joshua change as well. No not huge dramatic changes but subtle ones. He used to cry when he would hear the spoon scrape against the bowl or jar. I think for him it always signaled food time was over and he was still hungry. He is lessening his cry and starting to realize that he will be fed until he is full. He use to whimper when we would change his diaper. We would lift his legs and he would squint his eyes and whimper. I still remember the days in the orphanage while we sat waiting for them to change his diaper or clothes and hear them banging the back of his head on the table while they were hurrying to get the job done. We take extra care to hold his head and gently place him on a soft area and we are taking the time to slowly move his legs and butt up to put a new diaper on. He now will smile as we change him. He always is watching to see if we move or leave the room. He actively is seeking us out where before he just went about his own business. He responds to his name and will smile as soon as we say it. He is getting bored with his 3 toys we have for him and we have had to resort to pots and pans with plastic spoons. I fear it won't be long before that is not enough. He wants to move.. wants to be active however we are limited with things. We do not have a walker for him to sit and play with. We are in one room and for us the days drag on. I know he is gaining some weight although it is just a subtle gain right now.. and when we got him from the orphanage he was dehydrated and that is no longer the case. Last week the first night we got him he had one wet diaper in like 10 hours. Today he has at least 7. We are pushing the fluids.

I feel out of my league here. Seriously in the 22 years I have been a mom, I have seen sick children. I mean sick kids with croup, pneumonia and pretty much it all. Last week I knew Joshua was not feeling well. I got him and he was dehydrated and running a fever. He was not struggling to breath and my first thought he has an infection of some sort and will need to be seen for an antibiotic by our pediatrician. There has never been an even gut feeling of hospitalization. Today as I look at the little boy in front me, I don't even feel a need for him to see a doctor. It seems our efforts are working. He has been on an antibiotic now day 8, he has been fever free for 7 days, his cough if he coughs is loose and his nose is no longer running like it was. We continue saline drops and now (excuse my details) his snot is clear and lose rather than green and sticky. And yet as a mother, I am googling and calling on anyone I know in the medical field for advice on how to clear his lungs quickly for a positive outcome on the x ray. And although I see so much positive in his health, I am left discouraged. The one important change I need might be too soon to come on Monday. That marks 10 days from antibiotic. It is the earliest we are allowed an x ray by the clinic. It also might be too soon for the lung to show improvement since all my research says it could take weeks for that.

I have to admit- I feel like a big baby here. We do have flights if by a miracle he is allowed to travel for Tuesday. They did this because I have to return home for my sisters memorial. It was suggested to reserve all of us tickets in case so we could travel at once. We were told that if we had to cancel Dave and Joshua's we could do it on Monday and only incur a $50 loss. Today has been difficult. The days go by so slow. We have no TV to occupy our time and we have to take turns to get out for small walks. We eat either chicken or eggs daily. We spend much of our time taking Joshua into a steam shower or clapping or thumping his back. Joshua is limited on clothing and has one t shirt until the rest air dries. The thought of leaving this country without my husband and my son is horrible. The thought of attending my sisters memorial and speaking at it without them is not pleasant. I get travel sickness on planes and quite frankly flying scares me and Dave is my usual rock. He may not be there to be that rock.

Right now it seems as if it will take a miracle to travel. But I know that if any miracle can happen it will happen from God. I ask you continue to pray for us and ask that this miracle occurs and we all board a plane on Tuesday. We are ready to close this chapter and begin a new one.

Another change for Joshua- He loves his bath now